WRITINGS:
RICHARD BOTTO
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April 2005
Basking in the shadow of women
Women. Can't live with them, can't live without them. We've all felt
that way, probably 20 times since that first cup of coffee this morning.
And, of course, we alter that bon mot depending on how the opposite
sex affects the rationale of our emotional landscape. From anger (Can't
live with them, can't kill them) to indifference (Can't live with them,
can't live with them) to sigh-induced acceptance masked as surrender
(Can't live with them, pass the beer nuts), there's no denying one fact;
we think about them all the time and we bitch about them even more.
But there's one undeniable truth verifying that the bad rap men give
women is just empty chatter; no matter what, we go back for more. And
if we're putting ourselves back into the game after such perceived abuse,
clearly we're idiots, which only serves to prove every theory put forth
by women about men since the beginning of time.
Go ahead, try to make an argument about men being superior, but make
that argument out loud and you'll realize about halfway through that
your evidence is lighter than your wallet after a Saturday night of
trying to convince the ladies that you're worthy - that a second of
your time is of equal worth to a second of theirs (it's not, by the
way). Even playing the "women are jaded" card will fail you.
If you think short and easy about it, they've probably had their psyche
tarnished by something we've done. Let's face it, it's all our fault.
Trust me, I've analyzed this from every angle and we can't win. They
truly are the fairer sex.
So this month, I've decided to turn this space over to people who have
so eloquently made the point better than I ever could. Bottom line,
and deep down beneath your armor of testosterone you know it's true,
we can't live without them, but they sure as hell can make a case about
living without us.
Enjoy the issue and pass the beer nuts.
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."
- Timothy Leary
"God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination
easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met."
- Farrah Fawcett
"All the reasonings of men are not worth one sentiment of women."
- Voltaire
"Women are made to be loved, not understood."
- Oscar Wilde
"Women have been called queens for a long time, but the kingdom
given them isn't worth ruling."
- Louisa May Alcott
"For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the
ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time."
- Isabel Allende
"Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him."
- Minna Antrim
"The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on women."
- Nancy Astor
"About age 30 most women think about having children, most men
think about dating them."
- Judy Carter
"A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas
a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking."
- Malcolm De Chazal
"Not only is women's work never done, the definition keeps changing."
- Bill Copeland
"Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand
more."
- James Thurber
"If it's true that men are such beasts, this must account for
the fact that most women are animal lovers."
- Doris Day
"If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds
that of the men who deserve them."
- Robert Graves
"Men get laid, but women get screwed."
- Quentin Crisp
"Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks
only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for
instance, he can't find any clean socks."
- Jean Kerr
"Who loves not women, wine and song remains a fool his whole life
long."
- Martin Luther
"In a society where the rights and potential of women are constrained,
no man can be truly free. He may have power, but he will not have freedom."
- Mary Robinson
"Women's virtue is man's greatest invention."
- Cornelia Otis Skinner
"Why are women... so much more interesting to men than men are
to women?"
- Virginia Woolf
"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever
see a smart woman with a dumb guy."
- Erica Jong
Enjoy the issue.
RICHARD J. BOTTO
Editor in Chief, CEO
www.razormagazine.com
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