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Richard Botto, Editor in Chief / CEO of RAZOR Magazine, has created the definitive men's magazine which features the best in men's fashion, travel, sports, autos, celebrities, technology, humor, fiction, fitness and more.
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 WRITINGS:
RICHARD BOTTO
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March 2004
Theater of the Absurd
The headline was
staring me right in the face, but I still couldn't believe what I was
seeing. "Madonna Gives Her Endorsement to Clark." Certainly
this couldn't be Material Girl Madonna. Not the Madonna who force-fed
her tongue down our throats a few short months ago. Not the Madonna
who has spent the last few years of her life proudly living in England.
Not on the front page of a fairly well respected newspaper. The quote
of all quotes: "I know that people pay attention to everything
I do. Big or small. Ridiculous or sublime. So I am hoping they pay attention
to this: I am supporting General Wesley Clark for president." Have
I missed something? Do we still pay attention to everything Madonna
has to say? In this celebrity-obsessed society has her choice for President
become more relevant than that of the New York Times (yeah, I know the
Old Gray Lady has been showing her stretch marks lately, but still)
or the Washington Post?
But that was trumped a day later when on the website of a popular news
network, this appeared as the top caption "Madonna to Convince
Gwyneth Paltrow to Back Clark." WHAT? I immediately called Starbucks
to see if they had started adding hallucinogens to their dark roast.
But the insanity did not stop there. While perusing one of the most
politically influential tabloids of the last century, I came across
this: "Clark Switches to Sweaters, Gains in Polls." Clark,
wearing a sweater that surely was lifted from Bill Cosby's wardrobe
circa 1987, spoke at length to a couple of hundred people about his
agenda and the views of his America for the next four years. He waxed
poetic about foreign policy, the deficit, creating new jobs, bolstering
the economy and our involvement in Iraq. At the end, the crowd cheered
and then, of course, they were polled. Asked what impressed them most
about General Clark that evening, 36 percent responded, "His appearance
and his attire."
This is a four-star general, a trained leader of men, a man who has
spent a majority of his life defending the honor and security of this
country and who obviously has many opinions on how to lead us into the
future and the thing that tipped the scales in his favor was the fact
that he had traded in his fatigues for a soft, fuzzy swatch of cashmere.
A few mornings later, I sat in stunned amazement watching Howard Dean
in a diner, flipping pancakes. Every channel, there he was, sleeves
rolled up, crooked smile, flipping hardened batter to the obvious joy
of the masses. "Howard Dean stopped at this eatery this morning
to show that he is a man of the people," a talking head gleamed.
An "expert" on politics followed to say that Dean truly had
shown that he was in touch with the average American. By flipping pancakes?
What the hell is going on here?
I called the local Dean campaign headquarters and was greeted by a hyper
and very excited voice: "Dean for President." I told the young
woman that as a person on the Atkins diet, I was profoundly upset by
Mr. Dean's display that morning. He was promoting a high carbohydrate
breakfast and that anyone in touch with anything going on in the world
knows that carbohydrates increase your insulin levels which causes you
to store fat more easily. I was offended that Mr. Dean would promote
such an unhealthy diet. With millions of people on the Atkins diet,
it was obvious that Mr. Dean was not in touch with the average American.
After a lengthy pause, I was asked to hold on. A few minutes later,
she returned, assured me that Mr. Dean is an advocate of a person's
choice to diet in whatever method he or she chooses and would never
discriminate against anyone with a weight disorder. I confirmed one
more time that Mr. Dean was pro choice when it came to a person's right
to diet. I then told her she had a future in politics and hung up.
We're losing it, people. I have no doubt that Madonna will be watching
CNN on election night from her home in Notting Hill as opposed to flying
across the pond and actually punching a ballot. Just as I have no doubt
that Mr. Clark's switch from general to grandpa is going to win him
votes. Just as I have no doubt that Mr. Dean's skills in the kitchen
are gaining him some big points in middle America. Those who bitched
about Clinton should have seen it coming when he was playing sax on
Arsenio.
Street smarts, book smarts or fashion smarts... You decide... But once
you do, no bitching for the next four years.
Enjoy the issue.
Richard
Botto,
Editor in Chief / CEO of RAZOR Magazine - The Definitive Men's Lifestyle Magazine
www.razormagazine.com
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