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July / August 2003
The Qualifying Lap
I was out at a bar the other night with some pals. Throughout the evening
I had the pleasure of meeting a few women. Each with their own personality,
each with their own line of questioning, yet all sharing one common
inquiry: "What do you do?" You've heard it before The "qualifier"
And, admit it, you've responded with architect (with an emphasis on
city planning) or lawyer (defending the innocent).
To me, this is the first salvo for the female to gain, as George Costanza
called it, "hand" in the event that a relationship should
emerge from this initial conversation. What you "do" is really
"what do you make" and is not even close to being tantamount
to what you "do," the blueprint of who you are.
So, after some contemplation and a few Jack Daniels, I gathered all
the ladies I had spoken with and said the following:
I "do" the stock market
I "do" thoroughbred racing
I "do" classic cars
I "do" vintage wines
I "do" golf
I "do" fine dining
I "do" designer clothing
I "do" sweats and a t-shirt
I "do" exercise
I "do" guys night out
I "do" broad comedies
I "do" heavy dramas
I "do" non-fiction
I "do" sports broadcasting
I "do" (really) enjoy the company of women
I "do" dice and card games
I "do" business
I "do" Cuban cigars
I "do" summertime
I "do" nights on the town with my lady
I "do" success
I "do" traveling
I "do" art
I "do" Vegas
I "do" cocktails
I "do" what's around the curve before I reach it
In short I "do" the things that make the man standing in front
of you.
My sermon complete, the ladies slowly started to creep away. Soon,
only one woman remained, a well-dressed, statuesque blonde with swimming
pools for eyes. She stared at me for a long while, a look of admiration
on her face. I felt as if I had made a connection, as if I had reached
one of the sect.
There was hope.
She leaned forward on the toes of her platform shoes and playfully
pawed at the lapels of my shirt.
"Yeah, but, um' How much money do you make?"
I ordered a double as I sought out the fire exits.
Enjoy the Issue,
Richard Botto,
Editor in Chief / CEO of RAZOR Magazine - The Definitive Men's Lifestyle Magazine
www.razormagazine.com
